This study is centered on the understanding of origin of ambivalence and its impacts on the formation of nuclear family system. It first starts with explaining Freud's Dual Instinct theory which sees the death and life drives as the source of ambivalence. Ambivalence, a product of conflict and compromise between these two drives, is the driving force behind human's life. Therefore, a balance between the two is a prerequisite for having prosperous and diverse life experiences. Ambivalence, yet, may results in pathological problems, when he or she has a guilty conscience as a result of his or her inner conflicts in a state of ambivalence. In other words, if one cannot accept the fact that he or she has ambivalence or has a circumstance where they have to suppress one of their emotions, then occur pathological problems. Projective identification and splitting, both of which can be observed during the early stages of infants, may be viewed as spontaneous psychological development. However, for those adults who already become accustomed to a state of splitting may experience an increase in both anxiety and splitting. This may lead to several character disorders such as psychological differentiation which may occur in the interaction between one's emotion and that of others and psychological fusion. Such disorders show one's state of feeling that his or her ego is in danger of being exposed to external aggression. For the integration of ambivalence, therefore, the understanding of how aggression is handled is crucial and so is holding environment that is tolerant of aggression. Holding environment can be provided through good motherhood. That refers to those mothers who can withstand infant's destructive aggression and do not take any retaliatory actions against her child. Holding environment, in other words, means that one's sense of true-self is formed through the experience of embracing ambivalence and, thereby, that he or she starts to do the integration of ambivalence by recognizing differences between himself or herself and others.
The integration of ambivalence at individual level is largely influenced by "family", a de facto environment where one's very first human relations occur. The integration and disintegration of ambivalence can separate thinking from emotion. Furthermore, it is deeply related to levels of self-differentiation, a balance between togetherness and individuality in personal relationship. Individuals whose ambivalence is not in state of integration may suffer from having inner conflicts between the two emotions and seek to utilize splitting defense mechanism for the purpose of suppressing one's desire.
This has impacts on marriage relationship based on nuclear family system and parent-child relations. If husband or wife holds a well-built integration of ambivalence, the other side may benefit from him or her. Yet, if both sides are in the absence of it, then occur emotional separation and an intense state of fusion, due to splitting defense mechanism and passive-aggressive. What is more, a state of overestimation and underestimation start to perpetuate and may produce several adverse effects. It is likely that children with parents of such symptom perpetuate themselves on the same level of ambivalence integration of their parents. A failure to integrate ambivalence gives rise to a state in which children are anxious about their disposition, character and function and thereby have inner conflicts. This is largely because of parent-child relations in which parents control their children and force them to follow their wants.
Such a failure causes problems in marriage and parent-child relations. Moreover, it adds fuel to a vicious circle of which all family members undergo similar psychological patterns. If that is the case, there is a need of environment for healing process to transform adverse effect into proper function. Several symptoms and a deeping of anxiety during the healing process may be viewed as a product of family relations patterns. Yet, it can also be seen as a sign of taking a step towards recovery. A therapist provides an emotional environment that helps find several symptoms including aggression that a family holds and has a good understanding of the family's anxiety. With this process of which a therapist's patience continues to endure, those family members who originally do not have a well-integrated ambivalence may start to have a feeling that there is no need of defending their ambivalence except accepting their emotion as it is. What is more, as members of family begin to have a grasp of their own defensive mechanism and to live with having a sense of true-self within such a safe emotional environment, that may lay the foundations for establishing a decent environment for the integration of ambivalence for them. This will surely give credit to a prospect that each member of family works hand in hand to build holding environment, for the genuine understanding of other members and the establishment of healthy emotional system for individuals and family.